— Smith Wigglesworth, A Sermon on Faith (via thethingsyouwere)
— It’s a Mark Driscoll kind of night. (via sketchmedesire)
There is so much going on in my little world right now, and it’s so overwhelming. I don’t want to be one of those people who always blames bad things or uncomfortable things in my life on spiritual attacks, but I kind of feel like that’s what is happening right now. Over the past year or so, I have made the decision to completely pursue the path that God has planned for my life, no questions asked. To trust Him with everything. And at first, life was great. I felt like I could see a clear path for my life. I was doing alright in school. I felt like I was getting everything figured out. My family was doing SO WELL. I was making enough money to put a good bit away every week. I found a wonderful boyfriend, who is seriously everything I’ve prayed for my whole life. I also got the internship at church, which I had been praying about for a while, too.
For a moment, life felt almost perfect.
And then in the blink of an eye, it all started to crumble.
First, my grades started slipping. And slipping. And slipping until they slipped so far into the gutter that they just… *POOF*
Then, I lost my job. All of a sudden, I was having to make everything work on about 25% of what I had before. (I got another job and I make a little bit more, but not even close to what I was making before. I can barely afford to put gas in my car each week.)
And then my sister… where do I even start? (Seriously. I don’t know where to start. But it’s BAD. Scary bad.)
And now there’s this whole thing with David on top of everything else.
The only thing that makes me feel like I might still have it together, even just a little bit, is this internship. It’s a lot of work and sometimes I don’t want to do it and I complain, but I don’t know where I’d be right now without it.
Life is rough, but I am blessed. I know that. And I’ll be okay because even if everything does completely crumble before my eyes, I know that I will always have my God, and He will always work all things together for my good. All things on this earth shall whither and die, but He alone is eternal. He is preparing a kingdom for me in Heaven, and He is good. He is so, so good.
Selflessly making decisions is HARD.
Watching the suffering of the ones you love is HARD.
Feeling helpless is HARD.
Basically, life is HARD.